Silat al-Rahim: Difference between revisions

Sila rahim which means associating and meeting with relative and helping them is among moral teachings of Islam. The Qur’an and hadiths emphasize so much on sila rahim that the Qur’an considers those who abandon it among the losers and the cursed. In hadiths, sila rahim is mentioned as the best action after faith, the first action speaking on the Judgement Day, the best attribute of the faithful and the best factor for prolonging life. According to a divine hadith, sila rahim is derived from the mercy of God and anyone who abandons it, will be deprived of His mercy.

Sila rahim is sometimes obligatory and sometimes recommended. Qat’ rahim which means “abandoning obligatory sila rahim and lack of having the necessary relationship with relatives” is among the great sins and is not permissible even about sinful or temperamental relatives.

In Iranian culture, associating with relatives is very important and specially manifested in Eid Noruz, month of Ramadan and national or religious celebrations.

Sila rahim is formed of the two words of “sila” and “rahim”. “sila” is derived from the root of “Wa-Sa-La” meaning “to join two things” and “rahim” which means “womb”. The word “rahim” in “Sila rahim” refers to blood relation.

In usage, “sila rahim” means “to associate and meet with relatives and help them”. “Sila rahim” is mentioned in discussions about gifts, marriage, giving testimony (at the court), etc.  

Some of the names and attributes of God such as Rahman and Rahim have the same root as “rahim”. It is mentioned in a divine hadith, “I am the Rahman [All-Compassionate] God; created rahim and named it after My Name; so, I will include anyone who practices sila rahim, in My mercy and I will draw anyone who does qat’ rahim, away from My mercy.”

* Blood relationship which is made by blood and through the womb such as a father, mother, children, brother, sister, uncle, aunt, grandfather and grandmother and the children of those who are called arham or blood relatives. Sila rahim is obligatory with this group and if a gift is given to any of them, it is not permissible to take it back.  

* In-law relationship which is made through marriage, such as the relationships made between couples and their relatives. There are different opinions on whether obligatory sila rahim also includes this group or not.

Among all relatives, the position of mother and father is more pronounced in the Qur’an and God has ordered to do goodness about them after ordering about believing in His Oneness and doing His worship, “Your Lord has decreed that you shall not worship anyone except Him, and [He has enjoined] kindness to parents. Should they reach old age at your side —one of them or both— do not say to them, ‘Fie!’1 And do not chide them, but speak to them noble words.” (17:23)

The Prophet (s) and the Ahl al-Bayt (a): In some hadiths, in addition to advising about having relationship with relatives, relating with Imams (a) is also advised. In a hadith, the Prophet (s) said, “I and Ali are the fathers of this community.”

Religious brothers: for the next level of sila rahim, associating with religious brothers is mentioned: “The faithful are indeed brothers.” (49:10) Imam al-Sadiq (a) said, “The faithful are indeed brothers and are children of one father and mother; if any of them is sad, others will not sleep at night.”

Sila rahim is among the teachings emphasized upon in the Qur’an and hadiths. In several verses of the Qur’an, there is advice about respecting relationships with relatives and giving financial helps to them:

* “Be wary of Allah, in whose Name you adjure one another, and the wombs. Indeed, Allah is watchful over you.” (4:1)

* “do good to parents, relatives, orphans, and the needy, and speak kindly to people” (2:83)

* “Let the well-off and the opulent among you not vow1 not to give to the relatives and the needy, and to those who have migrated in the way of Allah” (24:22) …and many other verses.

Repetition of one issue in the Qur’an shows its importance. According to the verses of the Qur’an, people will be asked about sila rahim in the hereafter. The Qur’an also considers the person who breaks relationships with his relatives cursed and God threatens that He will make the eyes and ears of such a person incapable of understanding the truths.

Also in hadiths and the life of the Ahl al-Bayt (a), the great significance of helping, support and being kind to relatives is obvious and breaking the relationship with relatives has been prohibited. In Shia hadiths, qat’ rahim is mentioned as a cause which makes the mercy of God draw away from the person and the society.

According to hadiths, sila rahim is so important before God that even if wrongdoers have good relationship with their relatives, God will increase their daily sustenance; but, if those who practice daily prayers and fast, break their relationships with their relatives, their lives and daily sustenance will be cut short and will also have punishment in the hereafter. In volume 71 of Bihar al-anwar, ‘Allama Majlisi mentioned 110 hadiths about sila rahim and 102 hadiths about the rights of parents and children.

== The Reason for Emphasis on Sila Rahim ==

The reason Islam emphasizes on keeping relationships with relatives is that in order to correct, strengthen, develop, perfect and glorify a great society regarding economic or military aspects, or spiritual and moral aspects, people need to begin from smaller social units. By enhancing and strengthening all small units, the great society will be corrected automatically. Thus, Islam has ordered to correct the social units people usually are not reluctant to help and empower; and for sila rahim, God advises to strengthen the people whose blood circulates in their veins and are members of one family. So, it is clear that when small communities of relatives become powerful, their society will be glorified. Some people believe that the hadith telling that, “Sila rahim causes development of cities” refers to this fact.

In the famous sermon of Lady Fatima (a) mentioned the growth of one’s progeny as a reason and philosophy for the obligation of sila rahim.

Some scholars believe that meeting with relatives and friends, in addition to revival of emotional and humane connections, will make a serious influence on human’s neural mechanisms and can increase life time, enhance heath and decrease stress.

== Fruits of Sila Rahim ==

Some of the fruits of sila rahim are yielded in this world and some of them will be achieved the hereafter Some of such fruits are:

* Easiness of reckoning one’s account on the Judgement Day

* Purification of one’s actions

* Fulfillment of one’s requests

* Reward of a hundred martyrs in case of perfect sila rahim

== Consequences of Qat’ Rahim ==

Qat’ Rahim is among great sins which is seriously prohibited in the Qur’an and hadiths and considered at the same level with polytheism, the consequences of which are:

* Deprivation of angels’ helps

Sila rahim is sometimes obligatory and sometimes recommended. The closeness of relationship is influential in its obligation. Greetings, socializing with each other, caring about the relatives, financial and personal help and upholding their honor are among the examples of sila rahim. Qat’ rahim too has levels and its description and actualization is based on the common understanding in the society.

Some fiqh scholars believe that even if having relation with some relatives and going to their houses makes them upset and leads to our disrespect, it does not cancel our obligation for sila rahim and the relationship should be preserved in some other ways.

== Financial Sila Rahim ==

In financial obligations, it has been advised to prioritize the relatives. The glorious Qur’an considers helping the relatives among the financial rights and also mentions helping the relatives as a right, “Give the relatives their [due] right, and the needy” (17:26). Also, Imam Ali (a) said, “One who receives wealth from God, should help his relatives with it.”

== Sila Rahim with Sinners ==

If one’s relative is a sinner and indifferent toward religious issues, he can break our relationship with that person only if he considers it possible that breaking his relationship with that person would make him keep away from committing sins.

== The Sole Exception of Sila Rahim ==

Islam does not advise about sila rahim with disbeliever and polytheist relatives who are enemies of Islam and are hostile. In this regard, the Qur’an says, “The Prophet and the faithful may not plead for the forgiveness of the polytheists, even if they should be [their] relatives” (9:113) It is clear that pleading for forgiveness and praying for someone are among the examples of sila rahim.

In chapter Tawba, Prophet Abraham (a) asked for forgiveness of his uncle and practiced an example of sila rahim, but after he (a) learned that his uncle was an enemy of God, he (a) kept away from him and broke his relationship with him.

== Sila Rahim in Iranian Culture ==

Sila rahim is very important in Iranian culture, the signs of which can be seen in the meetings of Noruz and other religious or national celebrations, night meetings in winter, gatherings in marriage and funeral ceremonies, first meeting of the new couple from one’s house, birthday parties, parties for breaking fasts, meeting patients, etc.