Rights of Parents
The rights of parents (ḥaqq al-wālidayn) (Arabic: حق الوالدين) are the entitlements that parents have over their children. Upholding these rights is considered one of the most important divine commandments, and after the rights of God, they are regarded as the greatest obligation upon a child.
In religious sources, kindness, respect, obedience to parents, and providing for their financial needs are considered among the rights of parents over their children. In the Quran, following the command to show kindness to parents, children are urged not only to avoid any mistreatment or the slightest harshness toward them but also to exhibit humility in their presence and to pray for them during their lifetime and after their passing. In the hadiths transmitted from the Infallibles, kindness toward parents is regarded as one of the most virtuous and beloved deeds in the sight of God and a defining characteristic of the Shi'a.
Jurists consider obedience to parents obligatory in cases where disobedience would cause them distress, except when they command something sinful. Additionally, according to their fatwas, it is incumbent upon a child, if financially capable, to provide for the expenses of their needy parents.
Significance of the Rights of Parents
Upholding the rights of parents is considered one of the most important divine commandments and, after the rights of God, is regarded as the greatest obligation upon a child. Kindness and beneficence toward parents, which are among their rights, have been emphasized multiple times in the Quran. The repetition of this directive, particularly immediately following the command to worship God and the prohibition against associating partners with Him, is seen as an indication of the special significance of this ethical and religious teaching.
In both Shi'a and Sunni hadith collections, the special status of parents has been emphasized, with independent sections devoted to this topic. Ingratitude and disobedience toward parents are deemed forbidden and classified among the major sins. The emphasis on respecting parents is also found in the scriptures of other religions, such as the Old Testament.
What Rights Are Parents Entitled To?
A man asked the Messenger of God (s), "What are the rights of a father over his child?" He replied, "The child should not call him by his name, should not walk ahead of him, should not sit before he does, and should not do anything that would cause people to curse his father."
In religious sources, kindness and respect toward parents, obedience to them, and providing for their financial needs are considered among the rights of parents.
Kindness and Respect
Kindness and respect toward parents are considered among the rights of parents. Al-Shaykh al-Hurr al-'Amili, in his book Wasa'il al-Shi'a, includes a section titled "The Rights of Parents," in which he cites hadiths concerning kindness, beneficence, and respect toward parents.
In the hadiths transmitted from the Infallibles, it is stated that kindness toward parents is among the most virtuous and beloved deeds in the sight of God and a defining characteristic of the Shia. Furthermore, God's pleasure and displeasure are tied to the parents' satisfaction or dissatisfaction with their children, and no excuse is accepted for failing to show kindness to them.
It is reported regarding the Prophet's (s) practice that he held his foster mother in high esteem and honored those who treated their parents with kindness. Based on this, Muslims are commanded to show kindness to their parents and to bear the hardships of caring for them, even if the parents are polytheists or wrongdoers.
Examples of Kindness
In Quran 17:23,24, following the command to show kindness to parents, specific examples are mentioned, such as the prohibition against saying "fie" or showing even the slightest harshness toward them. The verse further urges children, during their parents' old age, not only to avoid mistreating them but also to show humility before them and to pray for them during their lifetime and after their passing, in recognition of the hardships their parents endured for their upbringing and growth.
In the hadiths, specific examples of the rights of parents are mentioned, including that a child should not call their parents by their first names, should not walk ahead of them, and should not sit before them or with their back turned to them. Additionally, if parents call their child, the child should respond promptly, even if they are in prayer. If the parents' behavior or words are contrary to the child's wishes, the child should refrain from frowning or speaking harshly to them. Respecting the privacy of parents and expressing gratitude to them are also considered among the examples of kindness toward parents.
Obedience and Alimony
Obedience to parents is considered one of their rights, except when they call their child to polytheism or to commit a sin. In the hadiths transmitted from the Infallibles, obedience to parents is regarded as a sign of faith and a rational behavior.
According to Mirza Qummi, a Shia jurist, the obligation to obey parents in certain cases is a matter of consensus among jurists. He considers it impermissible for a child to engage in a permissible act that displeases their parents, unless refraining from it would cause harm to the child. Some jurists, such as the author of Jawahir al-kalam, Sayyid Muhsin al-Hakim, and Nasir Makarim Shirazi, also hold that the obligation to obey parents applies in cases where disobedience would cause them distress.
Another right of parents is the provision of their financial needs. According to jurists, if parents are in need, it is obligatory for the child, if financially capable, to cover their expenses and provide for their sustenance. Additionally, in certain Quranic verses, children are advised to consider their parents' share in financial bequests and to give to their parents from their own wealth.
Parents' Rights After Their Death
Religious sources urge children to continue showing kindness to their parents even after their passing through acts such as reciting the Quran, seeking forgiveness and praying for them, giving charity on their behalf, settling their financial debts and other obligations, honoring their friends, and maintaining ties with their relatives. Additionally, performing prayers, fasting, and Hajj on behalf of their parents is recommended.
In jurisprudential texts, it is considered obligatory for the eldest son to perform the missed prayers and fasts of his deceased father. Some religious authorities, such as Khamenei, Makarim Shirazi, and Nuri Hamidani, have extended this ruling to include the mother as well. In al-Sahifat al-Sajjadiyya, a collection of the child's duties toward their parents is presented in the form of supplications.
Reason for Emphasis on Upholding Parents' Rights
A man came to the Prophet (s) and said, "There is no sinful act I have not committed. Is there a way for me to repent and return?" The Prophet (s) asked, "Is either of your parents still alive?" The man replied, "My father." The Prophet (s) said, "Go and show kindness to him." After the man left, the Messenger of God (s) remarked, "If only his mother were alive."
'Allama Tabataba'i (d. 1360 Sh/1981) explained the Quran's emphasis on kindness to parents as follows: the emotional bond between parents and children fosters a strong connection between the new generation and the previous one, thereby strengthening the family unit. The stability of the family, as one of the most critical elements in social relationships, contributes to the solidity of human society.
Ibn Miskawayh (d. 420 AH/1029), a Shia scholar, analyzing why religious teachings emphasize kindness to parents and upholding their rights but do not similarly enjoin parents regarding their children, argues that parents do not see their children as separate from themselves. Thus, they love their children as they love themselves and consider their children's progress as their own. However, children do not have the same feeling toward their parents.
Special Emphasis on the Mother's Rights
In the hadiths, special emphasis is placed on honoring the mother, and she is considered to have the greatest right. It is even stated that fulfilling the mother's rights is impossible. A hadith from the Prophet (s) states that kindness to the mother serves as atonement for past sins.
In Quran 46:15, after enjoining kindness to parents and explaining its rationale, only the hardships of the mother are mentioned. Muslim scholars consider this an emphasis on the mother's rights and a greater directive to honor her. Imam al-Sajjad (a), in Risalat al-Huquq (Treatise on Rights), highlights the difficulties a mother endures during pregnancy and the child's early years, specifically urging the child to show gratitude for her efforts.